Our mind is wired to solving problems, but what happens when you can’t solve the problem you’re dealing with because it feels far beyond your control? You work within your given parameters, despite the lingering feeling of the unknown that’s hanging around in the background. These chapters of uncertainty (we must remember they aren’t the whole story) are challenging to navigate regardless of whether they are triggered by world issues or in our intimate relationships.
Right now, there’s a lot going on in the world. On the heels of the Hong Kong protests, the city has been hit with the Corona virus outbreak and no one knows when the issue will become contained. At the beginning of the calendar year there were devastating fires in Australia, and economic instability globally. We all learn at some point in our lives the unfortunate truth, that life is full of uncertainties. For some of us this happens when we are much younger, such as the arrival of a younger sibling or unfortunate loss, for some of us this happens much later in life, but the outcome of the lesson is the same - make the most of your circumstances because the only person who feels your emotional experience is you. So you may as well choose to feel something that promotes productivity and wellbeing rather than inertia and resentment. Lean in to the circumstance, reframing from ‘why is this happening?’ to ‘how do I make the best of what’s happening here?’
When it comes to relationships, there is always uncertainty because you can never have complete understanding of what your partner is thinking or feeling. Although we receive their words and actions, sometimes our own personal demons will plant seeds of doubt and insecurity that make us question and feel uncertain about the relationship. For the uncertainty this creates, communication is a must, as most of the time the demons are worse in our head, and once they are verbalised into life, we see they’re not all they seem to be. So much of being in a relationship is hope. It’s the hope of the future. The hope of the support in place when you need it.
So in these tough and uncertain times, we need to lean into hope, not away from it. It’s easy to feel hopeless when emotions, security and attachment are involved. Staying future focused on your personal relationships and values in your life helps create a sense of fulfilment as a resilient buffer despite the tough chapters.